Holding Up The Sky
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: Loki knows better than to try and raise a child as a villain. He's tried that before and it didn't go well. When Amora end up with child, the obvious solution is for neither of them to have anything to do with it. Loki's not really good with ignoring his kids, though. []Based on this prompt: Imagine your villain OTP attending a school play their child/children are starring in.


There were many things that could be said about Loki and many things that, in fact, were. He had been called Silvertongue, Blackheart, Trickster, Worldbreaker, but one thing that Loki could not be called was a fool. He knew the perils of being a villain, he knew that his life would be wrought with destruction, and chaos, and vengeance as long as he remained on this path. Loki didn't care, though. What made Loki a villain, truly a villain, was never what he had done, but why he had done it. Loki was selfish and that would never really change.

It was because of that selfishness, that awareness, that he was where he was now. Standing in seclusion with his brother, Amora at his side. The Enchantress was more subdued that she normally was and with good reason. She could not afford aggression just now, but she did not really expect it from Thor. Not without provoking him first. She stayed pressed close to his side, something that she only usually did when she was trying to seduce or manipulate him, but he knew it to be for comfort in this moment. Her arm was wrapped protectively around her midsection.

"Will you do this for me, brother?" Loki had to swallow his pride to be here, to ask this, but Loki had always been pragmatic and a resource was a resource. Regardless of how he felt about Thor most days, the fool was noble to a fault and his misguided love of Loki could always be used.

Thor's gaze turned from Loki to Amora, who could not bring herself to meet the Thunderer's eyes. She was ashamed, he knew, and that galled Loki. He balled up his fist and held his tongue, feeling his brother's scrutiny of her as if it were his own. In a way, it was. Thor was not the fool Loki liked to believe he was and he knew Amora. He could read her story as if were writ across her skin.

"Is this true, Amora?" Thor asked. "Are you truly… " His voice broke and trailed off, as did his eyes. Pretend as he did that the Enchantress did not appeal to him, the Thunderer had coveted her attention at times, nearly as fiercely as she liked to give it. Losing her to Loki must have stung. As angry as the thought made him, Loki understood, too. He was constantly, even now, losing her to Thor. Thor decided to change tactics as he asked, "Is this really what you want?"

"It's too late for that question, Thunderer," Amora told him. "This is how it is and the best option…" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, not opening them as she spoke. "The best option is you."

"We just need to know if you will do it," Loki said, inserting himself into their moment. He wasn't going to stand around and watch them struggle to fall into each other again. "We will dropping off the radar for a while and if you agree to help us, you won't see us until… until afterwards."

"And you truly want me and my Lady Jane, too-"

"We do not want your Lady Jane to do anything!" Amora snarled. "I am asking this of you, Thor! If you have to keep that wench around, fine! It's better than Sif, but I don't… Norns, I don't want my child to think that that mortal is her mother! Even if she doesn't know me…" Tears touched the Enchantress' eyes for the briefest of moments before she banished them.

"I know the folly of my ways," Loki said. "Even if I were to change now, it would make no difference. I tried that before, if you recall, and it didn't work. This time… This time, I just want my child to have peace. Midgardians are much easier to handle in that regard."

Thor looked between them both, looked at the ground, looked away. Loki could see the debate in Thor's eyes, see him weighting duty and loyalty versus love, though he couldn't say who had claim over which emotion in Thor's heart. Then Thor looked at them again, coming to the conclusion that Loki knew he would. "Alright. I will do this for you, brother." His eyes lingered on Amora a moment. "For both of you."

Amora sagged in relief, fighting her desire to reach out and touch him. "Thank you."

Thor nodded. He looked to Loki, waiting for something… acknowledgement, gratitude, explanations… Loki gave him none of that. "I will call for you when the time comes."

Thor paused before asking, "Is there really no other way?"

"I understand the price of being a shadow in my own child's life," Loki told him. Thor understood it for the confession that it was. Loki could not stay away completely, would not disappear utterly. Loki would be around, maybe Amora would, too. Thor still had a chance to be in their lives, whatever that meant.

* * *

The next few months were as quiet as Loki could make them. They broke all contact with enemies and allies alike, they became completely reclusive, going into public only when they needed to replenish supplies.

Amora couldn't afford to be hurt in her condition. Loki couldn't afford attention from his enemies. They couldn't afford anyone to notice this weakness of theirs and they couldn't let anyone trace this child to them.

"What are we going to do, Loki?" Amora asked him this in the dead of the night. He should have been sleeping. He'd given no indication that he was awake. He didn't know if she even meant for him to be. They were half way through this ordeal, but they hardly talked about it.

"We are going to do as we planned," Loki answered her quietly.

"After that," She said. "What are we going to do after that?"

"Watch," Loki answered. "We will just watch."

Amora didn't ask him any such questions again. They didn't talk about themselves, the baby, or what they would afterwards. Loki and Amora spent nine months pretending that she wasn't pregnant and getting bigger by the day, that they weren't the only people in each other's world, that they weren't having a baby they planned to give up to his brother.

Instead, they talked about Thor like it was the first time they'd ever met him, how he was a good hearted fool that they could make dance in circles with tarry a push. They danced around the sexual tension that she and Thor perpetually orbited, the familiar misgiving that he and Thor always hinged on, the complicated mess that was their relationship with each other. Instead, they just talked about Thor. They talked about how glad they were that Thor was with something as easily replaceable as a mortal instead of someone as volatile as Sif that might try to nurse a baby with a sword. They talked about how normal Midgardians would never be able to hurt an aesir child and pretended it wasn't relevant to anything in particular. They talked about how Volstagg was greedy enough to steal candy from a baby and how Hogun couldn't make an infant smile.

Loki spent his time drinking wine every other night to make Amora jealous of what she was missing out. Amora stared at the stars and mapped out the difference between this sky and Asgard's. They used illusions to play out Midgardian tales, talked about the havoc they would reek once their was nothing holding them back, practiced magic they hadn't had to use in decades. They screamed at each other when they were sick of seeing each other's face, they broke things, Loki got drunk, and Amora laid curses on him until he couldn't take two steps without some petty misfortune befalling him.

They fell in love.

They spent the nights before their child's birth crying in each other's arms and two nights after. They memorized every hair on their daughter's head, each finger and every toe, the sound of her cries and coos and laughs. They stroked her fine dark hair, studied her barely open her green eyes, watched her sleep, watched her wake, cuddled her, kissed her; they fell in love with her.

They mourned her.

They kept their daughter a full week before they gave her up.

* * *

Rumor was that Thor adopted a child. It was kept as quiet as possible for as long as possible, but Thor was hero, the royalty of Midgard, people watched. People talked. Despite that, he was safe. She was safe.

* * *

Amora blew up half of New York.

Loki blew up part of Asgard.

Neither of them felt better afterwards.

* * *

"I can't do this, Loki." Amora admitted after they'd avoided each other for a month. "I can't keep… breaking things until I feel better. Because I don't! I don't feel better. I don't feel anything."

"You think that I do?" Loki asked her. "You think I'm doing this because I like it? You think that I like…" He broke off unable to finish his statement. Loki growled at nothing as he turned away from her.

"I don't know what you like," She said. Her voice was equal parts pleading and condemning. "I don't know what you feel. I don't know what you want! Because you haven't even shown your face in-"

"What do you want from me, Amora?" Loki demanded.

"I want Helena back!" Amora cried. "I want… I want her back…" Amora hid her face in her hands as she cried.

Loki felt angrier every second that passed. He turned toward her "Well I can't give her back to you, Amora. I don't have her!" Loki spat. "And neither will you. You want to know why?" He asked as he stormed toward her. "Because you break things! And you break people! And you wouldn't know how to be a good mother even if you'd ever had one yourself."

Amora slapped him. "Just because you don't think you can do it-"

"I've done it!" Loki replied.

"And how did that turn out, Loki?" Amora yelled. "One frigid bitch to birth a batch of monsters. One wench to leave you when you're low."

"And one bitch that'll spread her thighs for anything that looks at her twice," Loki snarled.

Amora punched him, eyes and hands glowing with magic. "How dare you! How dare you!"

"How dare you," Loki growled in response. "You think you have any right to speak on my children? You think you have any right-"

"Stop trying to hurt me, Loki!"

"You first!"

"Why do you have to-" Amora cut herself off, turning away from him. She fumed, pacing a few steps away before turning back. "You don't have to hurt me just because you miss her! You don't have to be miserable! We don't to fight each other! You don't have to break me because you feel broken."

Loki turned away from her. "I don't want anything to do with you, Amora. I'm sick of your whining. I'm sick of you constantly begging for attention. You sniff around for my for brother's scraps and when you finally get them, it's not good enough for you!"

Amora's face twisted into a mask of rage, but her voice was cold as ice when she spoke. "You're the only one that thinks of yourself as Thor's scraps, Loki." The silence that followed was how he knew she had left him alone.

Loki let himself fall to the ground and just… waited. Waited for something to change. For Amora to return, for his anger to recede, for him to feel better… but nothing happened. Nobody came. And Loki just remained there, waiting until the sun went down.

* * *

Loki took pictures of his daughter. He stole from Thor's house, from the school on picture day, and he left them in the safe house that he and Amora had spent months hiding away in. He never stayed there. He didn't know if Amora did, either. But that's where he left the pictures. Thor eventually caught on and started making copies of all of them. He left them once a week in his mailbox and Loki picked them up.

Breaking things didn't help.

Helping people had never helped.

Once she was old enough he could walk into her dreams. To observe her, watch as her mind changed, he could talk to her, though she wasn't old enough to understand it. He became her imaginary friend, a shadow, a magpie, and even though she didn't know him, she loved him.

* * *

The first time he saw Amora again, Helena was in first grade. She was the star of a play and Loki slipped in to see it. He was in a nice suit and hat, meant to shade his eyes as much as it was for fashion, and no one questioned his right to enter the school. Sunglasses hid his eyes and the scarf wrapped around him made him cut a very suspicious picture, but no one questioned him.

Loki wondered if perhaps this school was not fit for his Helena.

Then he froze as he saw Amora. She was a beauty, he had to admit and she always had been. This was notable for how… Midgardian she looked as she was going about it. She was wrapped in a fur coat, though he could spot her green dress beneath it. Her eyes were similarly hidden by sunglasses though hers were larger and tinted green, and she had also donned a hat, wide brimmed and lovely. She looked expensive. She looked like star. She looked like she belonged on his arm.

"Loki," She said when she saw him. She was frowning, but without seeing her eyes he couldn't determine what emotion it was reflective of. "I wasn't expecting… how did you know?"

"She's been dreaming about it," Loki admitted. "And she told me." Loki didn't explain what that meant, about his dream walking and being her imaginary friend, but he didn't really have to. Amora knew what he was like, she would get it. "What about you?"

"Thor told me," Amora said, frowning more. "I see her sometimes. I send her tickets to art shows and ballets… so I can see her and she can see… art," Amora admitted. "Last time Thor told me… He told me I could be here. He didn't mention…" She made a gesture at him and he nodded.

Loki nodded toward the seats. "Shall we?"

Loki's world narrowed to three people. Both of their eyes remained trained on the stage. The sun was shining before them, better yet a star, and all they had to do was give her a sky to stand in.

"Did you see the pictures?" Loki asked her. He refused to take his eyes from Helena. He so rarely saw her in person and he didn't want to miss a moment. He wondered whether he should envy Amora who saw her all the time or if she should envy him for being such a part of her life. Then again, Loki was imaginary to her. He was shadows and dreams. Amora was the one who was real in her eyes.

"I saw them," She admitted. "I took a few of them."

"You haven't broken anything in a while," He said.

"And you haven't broken anyone," She replied.

"Haven't fixed anything yet, either," Loki confessed.

"That implies that you want to, Loki."

There was a child's production on stage that was holding his attention span captive. He hadn't spoken to Amora in years, as often was the case. It would be easy to pretend that they were starting over again, or picking up from an earlier point. It would be easy to continue as a solitary satellite orbiting the sun. He'd done it once before with Sigyn. He could do it again with his daughter.

At the moment, though, Loki wasn't sure that he wanted to be just a satellite.

He slipped his hand into Amora's. She didn't resist him, but neither did she accept the gesture. Her hand remained exactly as it was, waiting.

"This could be a date," Loki said quietly. "As the mortals do."

"This could be a lot of things, Loki, that doesn't say what it is. Or what you want it to be." Her voice was just as quiet as his when she spoke. Her eyes were unwavering from Helena on the stage, but Loki's no longer were. He was looking at her and he knew that she that she knew it. He knew that she could feel it. Amora removed her sunglasses with the hand that wasn't in his grasp. "What do you want, Loki?"

"I haven't spent a night in that house since we fought."

"Neither have I," Amora admitted.

"I want to," Loki continued. "With you."

"Why?" Amora replied. "Hoping to look at me twice?" She turned to glare at him briefly.

"More than," Loki replied with a grin. "But I am… remiss about what happened between us."

"I won't forgive you that easily," She told him. Still, she closed her hand around his, holding him there.

They lingered after the play. The kids wandered the auditorium to meet their parents, talking with teachers and friends. It was to both their surprised when Helen found them in the crowd, smiled at them, approached. Perhaps Thor was a worse guardian than Loki had expected, if his daughter had not even been taught the peril of strangers.

"Ikol!" She said when she saw then, bounding into Loki's lap and hugging him tightly. That… surprised Loki even more.

"You recognize me?" Loki asked.

"You're my friend," She said. The child reached out to grab hold of Amora's coat. "You are my mine."

"She's just like you, Loki," Amora said quietly, breathlessly.

Loki smiled at her, pulling her close. "How would you like a present, my dear?"

"Yes!" Helena replied without hesitation. She was beautiful and bright and Loki loved her with his entire heart. A star.

He took his scarf off and wrapped it around her. "Here you are."

Amora placed her glasses over Helena's eyes. "And you get one from me."

Helena's smile could light the sky. "Thank you!"

Amora stroked her hair gently. "Run back to your teacher, hon. And no more talking to strangers!"

"Not strangers!" Helena insisted. "Friends!" She smiled at them one last time before going to search out her teacher.

They sat silently there for a while longer. Amora cried. Loki held her.

Maybe it took two sets of shoulders to hold up the sky.

* * *

It took two weeks of wine, screaming, and crying for Loki and Amora to properly work things out between them. Whenever they wanted to see each other they went to their hideout and when they didn't they just… stayed away.

The arrangement was as good as it was bad. There was less opportunity for them to get on each other's nerves, but it also meant they spent a lot of time apart. Sometimes Loki would show up and find Amora waiting for him. Other times he could wait there for three weeks and she would never show. It was a trial at best.

They showed up together whenever their Helena was in a play and Thor made sure she was in a lot of them. And every time afterwards they stole a few moments with Helena.

"Someone's gonna catch on," Amora said to him one night. "We're with her too much."

"Maybe we should steal her back," Loki replied. "Bring her home."

"We don't have a home, Loki."

Loki rolled on top of her and looked around the room. "This looks like a home to me."

"Loki," She said sadly. "Don't."

He didn't. Instead he kissed her and he made a wish.

* * *

It wasn't until third grade when Helena said to them, "I know the secret."

"What secret?" Loki questioned.

Helena frowned at him. She met Amora's eyes, touched Loki's hair, and smiled. "The truth, Ikol. The secret. I know it."

"Darling," Amora said, pulling the girl into a hug.

"You don't have to be afraid mommy," Helena whispered. "I already know." Amora hugged her tighter. Helena glanced at Loki and smiled. "I can do it too, daddy. The magic. So can I come home."

"Hel…" Loki whispered, stroking her cheek.

"Please, daddy."

* * *

It wasn't an hour later that Loki made the call.

"Hello?"

"Thor."

"Brother? What is it? Is something… what is it?"

"I wanted to thank you, brother. For taking care of Helena. But you no longer have to do so."

"Wha? What do you mean? Has something happened?"

"She's coming home, Thor. I am… sorry that it is so abrupt but…"

"Loki! You cannot just-"

"I need her back, now, Thor. I'm sorry." Loki hung up the phone. He looked over to Amora, holding Helena close. "Ready?"

"Ready," Helena answered him quickly.

"Ready," Amora echoed with a smile.

Loki took Amora's hand, moved into her embrace, felt Helena's small form hugging him tight, and he felt a weight lifting off his shoulder.

She was a star and they would hold the sky for her.


End file.
